


chat chat chatting

by icarusdusk



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Angst, Chatting & Messaging, Crack, F/F, F/M, Group chat, M/M, Miraculous Ladybug - Freeform, Miraculous Ladybug Love Square, Multi, OT4, Plot, Twitter Fic, chat noir is a furry, honestly im bored so I wrote this, not necessarily ot4 but it kinda is, the social media fic no one asked for, this is a mess, will update tags as I go
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-18
Updated: 2020-05-08
Packaged: 2021-02-08 11:33:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 5,152
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21475330
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/icarusdusk/pseuds/icarusdusk
Summary: coffee <3 added sunshine child, marinate and dj beatscoffee <3 named the conversation "my lovers"coffee <3: if someone doesnt send the homework to me rni will cry--social media fic !!
Relationships: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir & Alya Césaire, Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir & Alya Césaire & Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug & Nino Lahiffe, Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir & Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir & Nino Lahiffe, Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Alya Césaire, Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Alya Césaire/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug/Nino Lahiffe, Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Nino Lahiffe, Alya Césaire & Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Alya Césaire & Nino Lahiffe, Alya Césaire/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Alya Césaire/Nino Lahiffe, Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug & Nino Lahiffe, Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug/Nino Lahiffe
Comments: 146
Kudos: 697





	1. napoleon born2party

**Author's Note:**

> hi im bored so here we are with a miraculous group chat !!!!  
imma try update somewhat regularly? so if you have any ideas lemme know 
> 
> also follow me on tumblr !! @incipient dream
> 
> and just as a psa:  
\- coffee <3 is alya  
\- marinate is marinette  
\- sunshine boy is adrien  
\- dj beats is nino

** _coffee_ ** _ **<3** added **sunshine child**, **marinate** and **dj beats**_ _  
_

** _coffee_ ** _ **<3** named the conversation "my lovers"_

**coffee** **<3**: if someone doesnt send the homework to me rn

i will cry

**marinate**: alya

babe

my wife

i love you

but its one in the morning pls go to sleep

**coffee** **<3**: i n e e d the homework answers mari

**dj beats**: babe if i send you the answers will you promise to sleep

**coffee** **<3**: i make no promises

but i will love you 5ever

**dj beats**: i thought you already loved me forever

**marinate**: are you cheating on me als

**coffee** **<3**: mari

im offended you would even think that

and nino. of course i love you

**marinate**: hmm

sounds fake

**dj beats**: love u too xxxxxxx

but pls for the love of everything

s l e e p

**coffee** **<3**: MARINATE NO im love you

**marinate**: h m m m

**coffee** **<3**: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3JWTaaS7LdU 

**marinate**: accepted for now

**sunshine child**: alya pls go to sleep

**coffee** **<3**: yes mother

actually hang on

@ you three why are you still awake

exblain yourselves

**dj beats**: alya when was the last time i actually got a full night of sleep

**coffee** **<3**: valid

**dj beats**: i run off of caffeine and pure adrenaline

and the fire that is my mixtape

**coffee** **<3**: less valid but i accept your defence

**dj beats**: rude

**coffee** **<3**: mari ???? and adrien ???? my children ??? exblain

**marinate**: uhhh i was working on a project

for the upcoming design competition

and i am,,,,, s t r e s s e d

**sunshine child**: the buzzing of all these messages woke me up

hard to sleep when my phone is tryna commit sewer side by jumping off the bedside table

**coffee** **<3**: seems legit

ill let you off

now back to business. who is sending me the homework

bustier will murder my ass if i dont get this done

**dj beats**: is it the history one

**coffee** **<3**: yesssss the french revolution 💦

**sunshine child**: napoleon bonaparte? more like napoleon borntoparty

**marinate**: guillotine me like one of your french girls

**dj beats**: mari no

why do i suddenly feel like a mother of three children

the depressed one, the crackhead and the pure child

**coffee** **<3**: so babe,,,,, the homework?

**dj beats**: yes yes im coming

**sunshine child**: can we pls keep the chat pg

**coffee** **<3**: ADRIEN

**marinate**: hon hon hon croissants

\-----------

_private message between **ladybubs** and **kitty cat**_

**kitty cat**: thanks for helping me on patrol <333333

im feline a lot better now hehehehe

**ladybubs**: you and your puns istg

but ofc

im always here for you

**kitty cat**: thanks buggy it means a lot

**ladybubs**: <33333333

**kitty cat**: ninight

**ladybubs**: sleep well chaton

\-----------

_my lovers_

**coffee** **<3**: did you know that your bones are wet

**marinate**: aLYA


	2. chat is a furry confirmed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know i promised plot but itll be here soonnnnnn  
(be wary im love some angst)

_my lovers_

**sunshine child**: okay guys hear me out

mosquitoes need blood for babies right

that means our dna is in mosquitoes

**dj beats**: we-

**sunshine child**: meaning we all have babies

**coffee <3**: lmao u rite

also,, how come the worst part of the watermelon is the best part of a cucumber?

**dj beats**: wait

dont mosquitoes drink our blood as food

**sunshine child**: no for babies

**dj beats**: ah i get it

they break down our proteins in our blood

**sunshine child**: yes

**dj beats**: into amino acids

technically we do the same thing

with meat n stuff

for us to make the proteins we need

so technically we have also had a cows baby too

**marinate**: i have children ?????????

how do i break this to my mother

**coffee <3**: oomf has daddy issues

CRAP

THIS ISNT TWITTER

BYE

**marinate**: oh dear

**dj beats**: HAHAHAHHAHA

**sunshine child**: rip

**marinate**: HOW DO YOU GET MESSAGES AND TWITTER MIXED UP ???

**coffee <3**: we all make mistakes

**sunshine child**: alya

spill

i wanna know

**coffee <3**: cannot e x p o s e

**marinate**: its chloe

**sunshine child**: oh o hhhhhh

**dj beats**: can we pls go back to the fact that i have animal children

**marinate**: im not ready to be a parent

**coffee <3**: at least youre not a furry

**marinate**: cough cough chat noir

**sunshine child**: CHAT ISNT A FURRY

**coffee <3**: why so defensive adrien

**sunshine child**: i am not

**coffee <3**: unless

**sunshine child**: uNLESS WHAT

**dj beats**: adrien likes that furry butt

**marinate**: i-

**sunshine child**: wha ???

that's not even remotely

**coffee <3**: e x p o s e d

\-----------

**the real cat @chatnoir**

contrary to popular belief i am not a furry

**miraculous! @theladybug**

oh rlly

**foxy @renarouge**

says the guy in a leather cat suit

**shelly ninja turtle @carapaceturtle**

sounds fake bro

**the real cat @chatnoir**

@theladybug @renarouge @carapaceturtle yall are fake friends :(

**miraculous! @theladybug**

y a l l

\-----------

_my lovers_

**coffee <3**: alright who leaked it to chat noir that hes a furry

**dj beats**: 

**marinate**: i tell him every time i see him

but this time it wasnt me

**coffee <3**: marshmallow im blaming you

**sunshine child**: i

no

i did not

**dj beats**: seems fake

**sunshine child**: can we change conversation subject

i am: slightly uncomfortable

**marinate**: depends on the topic

**coffee <3**: actually i gotta good topic

like the fact that you talk to chat noir @ mari ?????????

spill girl

**marinate**: suddenly im back to talking about chat noir being a furry

**dj beats**: so its both adrien AND mari like that furry cat butt

makes sense

**marinate**: nO

**sunshine child**: chat noir is n o t a furry


	3. firework.gif

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> look this got somewhat emo but hey. what can ya do  
also sorry !! ive been away with like. no internet

** **king of bets @lechien_kim** **

do you ever feel

** ** you wish kim @alixk** **

like a plastic bag

** ** king of bets @lechien.kim** **

drifting through the wind

** ** you wish kim @alixk** **

wanting to start again

** ** ivan @ivanbruel** **

do you ever feel

** ** artist @nathaniel_kurtberg** **

feel so paper t h i n

** ** king of bets @lechien_kim** **

LIKE A HOUSE OF CARDS

** ** alya cesaire! @ladyblogger** **

one blow from caving innnnnn

** ** nino @djnino** **

do you ever feel

** ** smelly wolf <3 @mhaprele** **

already buried deep

** ** marinara @marinettefashion** **

six feet under

** ** you wish kim @alixk** **

SCREAM

** ** mad max kante @max123** **

but no one seems to hear a thing

** ** juul @julekacxx** **

do you know that theres still a chance for you

** ** hmmm @sabrinarain** **

cAUSE THERES A SPARK IN YOU

** ** <3 @rose_lav** **

you just gotta igniteeeee the lightttttt

** ** marinara @marinettefashion** **

and let it s h i n e

** ** nino @djnino** **

just own the night

** ** artist @nathaniel_kurtberg** **

like the fourth of jULY

** ** queen bee @chloebourgeois** **

hmmm. alright

** ** queen bee @chloebourgeois** **

cause baby youre a

** ** under agreste @adrienagreste** **

FIREWORK

firework.gif

****lila**** ****@rossi****

uh imagine not having losers in your class. cant relate

\-----------

_my lovers_

** ** _dying inside_ ** ** _ set their nickname from ****coffee <3**** to ****dying inside****_

****dying inside****: help

i just

want

no more mental health issues. cute clothes. stable career. good friends

i just wanna be happyyyy

****marinate****: BRUH

****dying inside****: wow im emo

****marinate****: I WISH

IMAGINE

OH MY GODDDDDDD

what if i write a whole emo paragraph

should i

****dying inside****: i dont even care at this point if its my dream job

i just wanna be happy in it and get a steady income

@ ****marinate**** do i t

** ** _dj beats_ ** ** _ changed the group name to ‘existential crisis’_

****dj beats****: are u two okay

****sunshine child****: OH GOD SAME

****marinate****: like,,,,,,,, even if i dont get into the fashion industry i could still design clothes on the side. have a partner and kids and lil hamster. i live to the rip old age of 94, content with my loved ones as i die peacefully in my sleep. im happy and comfortable and can be f r e e without all the added responsibilities

****sunshine child****: i just wanna be away from my father and all his. protective and albeit overbearing nature

dont get me wrong !! hes my father and i love him !! but by god itd be nice to not have him breathing down my neck 24/7

****dying inside****: ive been hoping the ladyblog will spark some interest in journalist companies

but look

id be happy to make it through school and just. get some higher education and go on cute dates

****dj beats****: alrigth i expect all of you at my house in about ten minutes

dont care how you get here

but i will have hot chocolate with marshmallows and movies and blankets

****dying inside****: cuddle pile?

****marinate****: CUDDLE PILE

****sunshine child****: c u d d l e p i l e

****dj beats****: yes

  
  



	4. sjov

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> plot plot plot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello hi yes i am aware it has been 42 years since ive updated but i am back with a bang  
also sorry if the formatting is different; ive switched the software ive used for writing
> 
> credit for adrien's joke to baddadjokez on tumblr !!

_existential crisis_

**sunshine child**: hello all

would you like to be privy to a joke

its _sjov_

**marinate**: did you just say funny in danish

nerd

**dj beats**: im not sure i want to know what it is

**dying inside**: knowing marsh here it cant be that bad

**sunshine child**: okay okay okay so

a sperm donor, a carpenter and julius caesar walk into a bar

he came, he saw and he conquered

**dj beats**: nope nope nope i regret everything

** _sunshine child_ ** _ set the nickname from _ ** _sunshine child_ ** _ to comedy central_

**dying inside**: i take it back

that was horrifying

**marinate**: my poor, innocent ears

**comedy central**: i am: hilarious

**dying inside**: mari as if that ruined your ears

ive heard you say worse

**marinate**: are you calling me a whore

**dying inside**: i never ?? once ?? said ????

**comedy central**: receipts or it didnt happen

**dying inside**: _screenshot.jpg [text id: marinette dupain cheng to alya cesaire: i have THE biggest dick. that is all. goodnight]_

** _dj beats_ ** _ set the nickname from _ ** _marinate_ ** _ to _ ** _not innocent_ **

**not innocent**: this is freedom of speech erasure

\-----------

_private message between _ ** _ladybubs_ ** _ and _ ** _kitty cat_ **

**ladybubs**: chat

akuma alert

meet at the arc de triomphe?

**kitty cat**: be there soon my lady <3

is it a bad one?

**ladybubs**: its pretty big but i havent really seen what it can do

lotsa destruction though

kitty cat: thank goodness for miracle cure then

**ladybubs**: honestly yeah

holy shit

chat

HOLY SHIT

**kitty cat**: LADYBUG

ARE YOU OKAY

LADYBUG

PLAGG HURRY UP

LB?

\-----------

_existential crisis_

**dying inside**: holy sweet mother of jesus

get a load of that akuma

**dj beats**: its got l a s e r s wth

**dying inside**: i hope ladybug and chat noir get there soon that looks brutal

**dj beats**: alya youre not to go anywhere near it

comprehende?

**dying inside**: but

**dj beats**: no buts

**dying inside**: hehe butts

…

but fine

i shall stay away for now

**dj beats**: oh my god

**dying inside**: NINO

**dj beats**: ALYA

**dying inside**: do you think she’s okay??????

ladybugs taken hits before

but never that bad

**dj beats**: shes not getting up

wheres chat noir?

**dying inside**: i can see him now

he looks like the flash holy crap

ive never seen that boy run that fast

im gonna go check it out

**dj beats**: alya no

**dying inside**: i know what i said but that was before ladybug got knocked into next century

**dj beats**: i know there’s no stopping you

fine

ill bring coffee

**dying inside**: i hope she’s okay

**dj beats**: me too als me too


	5. u okay bro?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im tryna write longer chapters! and the introduction of a new group chat

_existential crisis_

**dying inside**: im worried about ladybug

since the akuma last night there has been dust on her

**dj beats**: im sure shell be okay

i mean

she’s ladybug, right? she’s gotta be okay

**comedy central**: i dunno… she seemed pretty beat

**dying inside**: marsh my love youre here

**comedy central**: sorry for disappearing last night

i had a lot on my mind and may have muted the chat

**dying inside**: forgiven. but only because youre a cutie

**dj beats**: where is your love for me ???

**dying inside**: not the time nino

ladybug could be dying

**dj beats**: bish ???????

** _dj beats_ ** _ set their nickname from _ ** _dj beats_ ** _ to _ ** _unloved_ **

**comedy** **central**: youre not unloved nino

i love you

**dying** **inside**: blasphemy

**unloved**: love you too sunshine

**dying** **inside**: back to the issue at hand

ladybug?????????????????

im rlly concerned about her

**comedy** **central**: she didn’t look good last night

**unloved**: adrien where did all your positivity go

**dying** **inside**: his celebrity crush could be miraculously hurt

also my celebrity crush but thats irrelevant

**unloved**: i think shes everyones celebrity crush

**dying** **inside**: not mari

shes totally in love with chat noir

**comedy** **central**: she is ???????????

**dying** **inside**: she wont admit it because of… someone else

but she is

**unloved**: ive seen it with my own two eye

**dying** **inside**: two eye?

**unloved**: yes als

two eye

**_comedy_** **_central_**_ change the group name to ‘two eye’_

**dying** **inside**: marsh i thought you were too depresso for jokes

**comedy** **central**: you can take the man out of the comedy but you cant take the comedy out of the man

**unloved**: has anyone heard from marinette today

ive heard nada since last night

**dying** **inside**: @not innocent are you alive

**not** **innocent**: i think my phone just tried to commit suicide

why are you all messaging so early

**comedy** **central**: its two in the afternoon

**not** **innocent**: as i said…. early

**unloved**: u okay bro?

**not** **innocent**: i feel like im dying

**dying** **inside**: what happened to you ?????

**comedy** **central**: did you hurt yourself?

**not** **innocent**: i uh

uh

fell down the stairs

**dying** **inside**: MARI WHAT

**comedy** **central**: holy shit marinette are you okay

**dying** **inside**: obviously not marsh

she fELL DOWN THE STAIRS

**unloved**: two things:

  1. mari i know youre clumsy but thats next level
  2. marsh swore??????

**comedy** **central**: shut your fuck nino i can swear

—————

_private message between _ ** _ladybubs_ ** _ and _ ** _kitty cat_ **

**kitty** **cat**: how are you doing lb?

**ladybubs**: i feel like a truck has hit me

**kitty** **cat**: thats…. not so good

at least it sounds like you got home alright

**ladybubs**: yea i did

thank you for not ah

**kitty cat**: not finding out your identity?

**ladybubs**: yea

**kitty** **cat**: as much as id love to know your civilian self im always going to respect your wishes my lady

**ladybubs**: fankies chaton <333333

**kitty** **cat**: of course <3

**ladybubs**: should i let the public know? i dont want people worrying

**kitty** **cat**: ill do it !! you keep resting

i got you bug

**ladybubs**: you da best

**kitty** **cat**: id be the best if id managed to save you before you got hurt

**ladybubs**: nononono chat

you ARE the best

and its not always your responsibility to look after me

i got hurt because i wasn’t paying attention

**kitty** **cat**: oh my god you were talking to me

i distracted you

**ladybubs**: NO

ive been really tired

and i had tikki message you anyways

youre the best kitty <3333

**kitty** **cat**: only if youre sure….

**ladybubs**: alWAYS

—————

**the real cat @chatnoir**

hello paris! i just thought id give you all an update. (1/?)

** the real cat @chatnoir**

ladybug is alive! so all the theories that she died are completely false. ive talked to her and shes very much still with us (2/?)

** the real cat @chatnoir**

i will keep you all posted but she shall be back and raring to go very soon. thank you for all your well wishes <3 (3/?)

** the real cat @chatnoir**

and @ hawkmoth ?????? suck my **** for hurting my lady. im only bleeping it because im meant to be family friendly but the sentiment remains the same. (4/4)

** alya cesaire! @ladyblogger**

thoughts with you @theladybug! glad youre doing okay x

** <3 @rose_lav**

@julekacxx look at how much he loves ladybug its so cute

** queen bee @chloebourgeois**

get better my best friend! always here if you need back up

—————

_squad is litty_

**foxy** **mama**: glad youre doing okay lb

**michelangelo**: yeah dude :( totally not good you got hurt****

**queen with a capital b**: @catastrophe if you need us while ladybug is out of action

were all here

**catastrophe**: thank you all <3

i shall let y’all know

in the mean time hawkmoth can suck my big ass

**foxy** **mama**: thats oddly specific

**catastrophe**: i am odd

**michelangelo**: thank u for letting us know

—————

_existential crisis_

**dying** **inside**: im happy ladybug is doing okay

**unloved**: me too

we would be completely screwed without her and chat noir

**comedy** **central**: ladybug is everything to paris

**not** **innocent**: chat noir

is

important

that is all

**unloved**: how you feeling bro?

**not** **innocent**: still stuck in bed everything hurts

**dying** **inside**: IM COMING OVER

were having a movie night

**not** **innocent**: can we watch something that isn’t too loud for my brain

**dying** **inside**: disney marathon it is

**comedy** **central**: disney <3333333

**unloved**: marsh of course youre a disney man

**comedy** **central**: no nino

i AM a disney princess

**dying** **inside**: thats valid


	6. slander

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me: tries to write cool ass fanfictions. gets a coupla kudos and comments  
also me: writes one (1) group chat fic and it goes off. i think ive found my true calling. but no seriously!!!! thank you all for reading and reviewing im 5ever grateful for every single one of you <33333  
and- if any of you have some ideas pls comment !!!!!! i will give credit to every one i use

**miraculous! @theladybug**

thank you for all the well wishes! im doing a lot better. ill be out and about very soon :)

—————

_existential crisis_

**unloved**: hello adrien @comedy central

vis a vis our last conversation

if you are the disney princess you say you are

which one would you most be like

**dying** **inside**: that was random

**unloved**: …im curious

**comedy** **central**: rapunzel

i am without a doubt rapunzel

**dying** **inside**: sheltered blond with a shitty parental figure???

sounds legit

i agree

**comedy** **central**: he’s not that bad of a father

**not** **innocent**: he literally did not let you have a birthday party

**dying** **inside**: mari my love !!!! hi !!!!

**comedy** **central**: ………

touche

**not** **innocent**: hi !!!!!!!!!!!!

**unloved**: how are you bro

**not** **innocent**: vvvvvv sore but im still living

**comedy** **central**: okay then

what disney princesses are yall then

**not** **innocent**: y a l l

but i am mulan

**unloved**: holy shit u rlly are mulan

go mari the badass

**not** **innocent**: nino <3333333

**dying** **inside**: i feel like i could be jasmine

like i refuse to listen to authority oops

and i wanna be a badass princess of colour

**comedy** **central**: i could see that

**unloved**: and if you weren’t jasmine you’d totally be ariel

you take zero shits

**dying** **inside**: thats so true

**not** **innocent**: ooomf you could also so be moana

**dying** **inside**: im so versatile wow

**unloved**: hmmm im tryna work out who i would be

**comedy** **central**: i reckon you’d be tiana

like you have big dreams and are always rlly positive

**not** **innocent**: i second that

you also have like. snow white qualities like being passionate and helpful

but im leaning more towards tiana

**dying** **inside**: nino your next film now has to be about modern day disney princesses

like we so get the class in on it

each one is a different princess

and we just take the shit out of everything

**not** **innocent**: p l e a s e

**unloved**: i will consider it

—————

_squad is litty_

**foxy** **mama**: how you doing ladybug ?????????

hope youre back on the scene soon we miss you

**queen with a capital b**: i agree because if i have to hear the mangy cat complain about missing you one more time im gonna scream

**michelangelo**: and we all know she will

**queen with a capital b**: s c r e e c h i n g

**catastrophe**: i have not been complaining

this is slander

**bugging out**: im doing better !!!! just very sore

and awwwwwwwwww the cat misses me <33333333

**catastrophe**: i-

**foxy mama**: get a room you two

**queen with a capital b**: wtf

**catastrophe**: i have a proposition

**michelangelo**: oh no

**bugging out**: is it gonna scare the bejeezus out of me

**catastrophe**: we add hawkmoth to the group chat

**foxy mama**: what the hell why

**queen with a capital b**: are you on crack

**michelangelo**: im so confused

how do you think of these things

**catastrophe**: here me out

we add him. hack the system so he can’t leave. annoy the shit out of him until we either a) annoy him so much he hands over his miraculous or b) he sends enough messages we can track his ip address

**bugging out**: thats actually not the worst idea you’ve ever had

**queen with a capital b**: how is the not the worst idea he’s had

**bugging out**: have you guys ever seen guardians of the galaxy ?

**michelangelo**: yes

**foxy mama**: of course

**catastrophe**: ladybug. my lady. bugaboo. dont expose me like this

**bugging out**: well

chat wanted to

**catastrophe**: no no no no no

**bugging out**: he wanted to challenge hawkmoth to a dance battle like starlord did with ronan

**foxy mama**: of course he wanted to

**queen with a capital b**: why is that not surprising

**catastrophe**: im a great dancer for your information

i have ALL the moves

**foxy mama**: all i can picture is this

[ _https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AZqQG8SmSzg_ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AZqQG8SmSzg)

**michelangelo**: thats so true

**catastrophe**: ladybug you started this

**bugging out**: sorry not sorry chat xoxoxoxoxo

**catastrophe**: b u l l y i ng

—————

**foxy @renarouge ** _poll: which of chat noir’s ideas is worse:_

_ 1\. challenging hawkmoth to a dance off_

_ 2\. adding hawkmoth to a group chat to annoy him_

** miraculous! @theladybug**

i still stand by the fact that a dance off is the worst idea he’s had

** shelly ninja turtle @carapaceturtle**

nope sorry ladybug but adding hawkmoth takes the cake

** bee-utiful @queenybee**

any ideas of chats is a bad idea

** the real cat @chat noir**

im suing y’all for defamation

** miraculous! @theladybug**

thats a big word for you chat im proud


	7. hot chocolate and blankets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello !!! sorry for the lack of comedy but i’m really in the feels after working on my new spiderman fic  
also yes it is short sorry :////

_private message between _ ** _ladybubs_ ** _ and _ ** _kitty cat_ **

**kitty cat**: hey bugaboo

how are you? and tell me honestly

cause i know you- youre tryna act strong for everyone else

**ladybubs**: whaaaaaaa

….

i would neverrrrrr

**kitty cat**: ladybug..

**ladybubs**: fine

you caught me

im in a really bad position right now

**kitty cat**: :((((((

**ladybubs**: other than the obvious whole getting whacked into the next month by an akuma

im just so worried about my abilities to protect paris atm

**kitty cat**: youre just a teenager bugs

the whole world doesn’t rest upon your shoulders

your life shouldn’t be spent entirely on protecting others

**ladybubs**: but i mean it kinda is

we have to ability to do something good

**kitty cat**: but youre also human. youre allowed to have feelings and priorities other than saving paris from hawkmoth

**ladybubs**: it doesn’t feel like it

**kitty cat**: and thats okay.

but considering your injury

now is as best of a time than any to take a breather from tryna save the world

**ladybubs**: :////////////

**kitty cat**: seriously

as serious as sirius black

**ladybubs**: n e r d

**kitty cat**: there’s the teasing ladybug i know and love

i mean

in a metaphorical way

**ladybubs**: its okay chat

thank you for always being here and knowing exactly what to say <33333

**kitty cat**: of course buggy💘

**ladybubs**: sorry to be all weird

**kitty cat**: never ever ever

you know what?

**ladybubs**: what !!!!!!!!

**kitty cat**: sometimes you remind me of the stars

youre gorgeous and happy and can always brighten me on the darkest days

and even when youre dampened you can guide me home

**ladybubs**: kitty

**kitty cat**: i dont mean to be. idk. forward

i just thought know was a good time to remind you that people love you

they need you. i need you

**ladybubs**: im gonna cry

that was the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me

**kitty cat**: pish posh

**ladybubs**: did you just say

pish posh

**kitty cat**: no

you have no evidence

**ladybubs**: hmmmm

**kitty cat**: hehehehehehe

**ladybubs**: hey chat?

**kitty cat:** yeah bugs?

**ladybubs**: you light up my world too

youre my best friend

and im grateful I’ve got to know you

im more prosaic and dont have your poetic abilities

but thank you for everything

**kitty cat**: i

of course

always and forever

**ladybubs**: wanna get out of your house for a bit

**kitty** **cat**: im down for anything right now tbh

**ladybubs**: meet me on the eiffel tower in fifteen

ill bring the hot chocolate if you bring the blankets

**kitty cat**: sounds perfect <3


	8. lemon juice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> its been so long im so sorry :(((( this chapter is short,,,, yes,,,, but its been sitting in my drafts for like. a couple of weeks yikes  
anyways pls go follow my new writing tumblr @incipientdream <3333  
also i had to change the rating cause ahH theres swearing
> 
> [unloved: nino  
dying inside: alya  
not innocent: marinette  
comedy central: adrien]

_existential crisis_

**dying inside: **I ORDERED A SPRING ROLL

THINKING IT WOULD BE SMALL

**not innocent**: u called

**dying inside: **BUT ITS HUGE

**not innocent**: oof thats my dick

**unloved: **alexa

search for replacement friends on amazon

my ones suck

**comedy central: **my mind is ruined

**dying inside**:poor thing

**unloved**::((((((((

see? rude

**dying inside**: i dont know what youre talking about

**unloved**: _screenshot.jpg [text id: “oof thats my dick”]_

**comedy central**: nino i have heard you say stuff like that before

**unloved**: lies

no you haven’t

**comedy central**: what about that time in class you ranted about how your mixtape had bigger dick energy than chloe could ever hope for

**dying inside**: NINO YOU SAID THAT

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

**not innocent**: oh my dear god nino

**unloved**: no……………………………

**comedy central**: see thats the thing about sitting next to nino,,,, you hear some next level stuff

**unloved**: no you dont

**comedy central**: yes, yes i do

**not innocent**: surely spill

**dying inside**: PLS

EXPOSE HIM

drag him into the dust

**unloved**: im a good catholic boy i would never

**not innocent**: youre???? not???? even catholic?????????

**unloved**: shhhh

**comedy central**: “id rather get hit in the ankle by a razor scooter and then fall into a pool of lemon juice than suffer through lila talking for another minute”

**not innocent:** holy crap nino

youre my new favourite person

**unloved**: i-

**dying inside**: this is beautiful please for the love of hawkmoth keep going

**comedy central**: “what if i accidentally did meth instead of math?”

**unloved**: ALGORITHM IS HARD

**dying inside**: why am i even dating you

**unloved**: because you love me

**not innocent**: adrien pls

i need more this is sustaining me

**comedy central**: i got you mari

my personal favourite,,,,,, “it takes a big man to admit when he’s wrong. but it takes an ever bigger man to give a t-rex a head rub”

**dying inside**: BAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAAHAH

**not innocent**: absolutely amazing

**unloved**: okay okay they get it

you can stop now traitor

**comedy central**: point: me

yee: haw’d

**not innocent**: :(

me: dying

wig: snoatacheded

**unloved**: are you two okay

**not innocent**: never

**comedy central**: i guess you could say

ni-_no_ we are not okay

**dying inside**: what in ever loving hell

**unloved**: you know what

ill take it

** _unloved_ ** _ set their nickname from _ ** _unloved_ ** _ to _ ** _ni-no_ **

**dying inside**: i think i need a new nickname i have had mine for too long

omg babe we can match

** _dying inside _ ** _set their nickname from _ ** _dying inside _ ** _to _ ** _al-yes_ **

**not innocent**: that,,,,,,, doesn’t even work

but i love u alya so ill forgive you

**al-yes**: i think its a masterpiece

**ni-no**: babe <333333333 were so cute

**comedy central**: stop flirting on main

**not innocent**: im with adrien

g r o s s


	9. hawkdaddy possibly tim

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> long awaited hawkmoth chapter....... this is not the only appearance he will make !!! sorry for disappearing for an age. also i posted a new spiderman fanfic on here- feel free to check it out !!!!!!! and please go follow me on tumblr @incipientdream  
\----  
foxy mama- rena rouge  
michelangelo- carapace  
queen with a capital b- queen bee  
catastrophe- chat noir  
bugging out- ladybug

_squad is litty_

**catastrophe**: alrighty guys gals and nonbinary pals

it is tim

time

certainly not tim unless hawkmoth is secretly a tim ??

because then thats valid

**bugging out**: chat if this is what i think it is

**foxy mama**: oh my god pls

im here for this

**queen with a capital b**: chat-

**michelangelo**: n o

** _catastrophe _ ** _added **hawkmoth**_

** _catastrophe _ ** _set the nickname for **hawkmoth **to **hawkdaddy possibly tim**_

**catastrophe**: oops,,,,, my fingers slipped

**hawkdaddy possibly tim**: What is this?

Who are all of you?

**bugging out**: chat i cant believe

**queen with a capital b**: what the h e c k i t y

**hawkdaddy possibly tim**: Chat? As in Chat Noir?

**catastrophe**: no

**michelangelo**: dear jesus

**hawkdaddy possibly tim**: I don’t appreciate this mockery. I am a busy man.

*Person.

**foxy mama**: busy man??? damn there goes any possible theory that ladybug was secretly hawkmoth

**bugging out**: w h A T THEORY

**queen with a capital b**: rena you owe me money

**foxy mama**: cant believe i lost this bet

**michelangelo**: you were never gonna win that one

**hawkdaddy possibly tim**: Excuse me I would like to know what is going on

**catastrophe**: well Mr Hawkmoth good sir

**hawkdaddy possibly tim**: I will neither support nor deny your claims

**catastrophe**: I AM A GENIUS

IT SO IS HIM

**michelangelo**: who found him?

**catastrophe**: IRRELEVANT

**foxy mama**: i cant believe im in a group chat with hawkmoth

**hawkdaddy possibly tim**: Considering that you realise who I am, I have but one demand.

**catastrophe**: guess you could say that cat is out of the bag?

**queen with a capital b**: blah blah “give me your miraculous”

you sound like a broken record hawkmoth

**hawkdaddy possibly tim**: No.

But if you are offering-

I will happily take your miraculous.

**michelangelo**: no thanks dude

**bugging out**: i just like that he had the audacity to ask us for our miraculous in our own group chat

**catastrophe**: Mr Hawkmoth are you possibly called tim????

**foxy mama**: yes pls mr hawkmoth man are you called tim

**hawkdaddy possibly tim**: I am not known as Tim, no.

**bugging out**: that really doesn’t limit our search

**queen with a capital b**: hawkmoth are you really working with lila rossi

**hawkdaddy possibly tim**: I am not answering that.

**bugging out**: what a bitch

**michelangelo**: ive narrowed down his ip address to paris

**queen with a capital b**: wow so helpful

**hawkdaddy possibly tim**: You will never be able to find me. I have the best services hiding my current known whereabouts.

**catastrophe**: oHHHHHH so youre like rich rich

**foxy mama**: EAT THE RICH

**queen with a capital b**: i-

**foxy mama**: queenie unless you sponsor us with free food you will be overthrown

**queen with a capital b**: fuck u all

**hawkdaddy possibly tim**: Unless you all wish to give me your miraculous, I will be taking my leave.

**catastrophe**: NO DON’T GO

HAWKDADDY SIR

**michelangelo**: he wont be missed

** _hawkdaddy possibly tim_ ** _ has left the chat_

**bugging out**: good riddance

what an ass

**queen with a capital b**: he’s so pretentious

**catastrophe**: Mr Hawkmoth sir

**foxy mama**: press f to pay respects for our fallen comrade

**michelangelo**: f

**bugging out**: f

**catastrophe**: f

**queen with a capital b**: f

**catastrophe**: surely we add him back

** _foxy mama_ ** _ added **hawkdaddy possibly tim**_

** _hawkdaddy possibly tim_ ** _ has left the chat_

** _foxy mama_ ** _ added **hawkdaddy possibly tim**_

** _hawkdaddy possibly tim_ ** _ has left the chat_

** _foxy mama_ ** _ added **hawkdaddy possibly tim**_

** _hawkdaddy possibly tim_ ** _ has left the chat_

**foxy mama**: HE BLOCJED ME

HAWKNOTH BLOCJED MEEEEE

**michelangelo**: as if that was going to work

**catastrophe**: on a completely unrelated note

my dad is yelling about annoying kids ?

praying thats not about me

**michelangelo**: you okay cat

**catastrophe**: now hes yelling to his assistant

father: [redacted] THESE CHILDREN ARE MESSING WITH ME

assistant: what do you mean mr [redacted]?

father, crying: the kids are bullies

**queen with a capital b**: did you just

**bugging out**: you seriously redacted names to ensure we didn’t realise who you are????

**catastrophe**: well now its like were secret agents hiding classified information

**michelangelo**: oh my god like those alex rider books

**catastrophe**: YES

**foxy mama**: n e r d s

**bugging out**: im with rena

\-----------

**the real cat @chat noir**

hawkmoth is a [bleep]

**queen bee @chloebourgeois**

im disowning you


End file.
